Growing up I was taught about the importance of meeting a man who can provide but after my secret wedding I quickly found out that are MANY things more important than marrying a man that can pay the bills. Like emotionally intelligence?!? I'll save that topic for another discussion.
Hey I was young... maybe 2o at best. I thought I needed a relationship to validate my existance. He was seemingly charming, successful, and loved. After a year of dating I took him to meet my family and he passed the test. He had a good job and money. He wanted me to leave the military so I could pursue my dreams...checks the box for supportive right? What's not to love, right? WRONG! Well behind closed doors he was obsessed with porn, cheating, and pursuing relationships with my friends behind my back. I was sooooo embarrassed and ashamed to tell my friends, coworkers, and family. I quickly realised I made a mistake and a divorce was mandatory.
Everything that glitters isn't gold.
At the time marrying and divorcing my ex felt like the worst blemish in my unreasonable desire to appear perfect. Now my wiser self appreciates that chapter sooo much. I learned more about ME. My desires, my needs, and what I needed from my relationships moving forward. Fast forward many years and my husband Shaun and I have been together for 14 years, and married for 11. Even though every relationship has it's growth areas it is NIGHT and DAY from marriage number 1.
Why is it different? because I learned to require something different.
No matter where you are in your journey I highly encourage all woman to have your own life before you decide to become a wife. Not enough importance is given to the need for a woman to love themselves FIRST. Although I feel blessed to be in a happier place I didn't always get it right but because I didn't I certainly have a lot to give to you.
Finding your forever person is like embarking on a thrilling adventure, but before you say "I do," it's crucial to navigate the maze of love with a discerning eye. In this guide, we'll explore the top 10 dating questions and warning signs to ensure that your happily ever after is built on a solid foundation of love, compatibility, and maybe just a dash of humor.
1. The Core Values Check:
Before diving into the world of matrimony, ensure that your values align. Ask about their principles, beliefs, and long-term goals. A shared vision can weather any storm.
2. The Ambition Inquiry:
While it's wonderful to be in love, ambition compatibility is often overlooked. Does your partner dream big like you? This question unveils aspirations and sets the stage for mutual support.
3. Family Matters:
The way someone treats their family can be a window into their character. Observe how they navigate family dynamics and whether they envision a similar future with you.
4. Communication Style Probe:
Effective communication is the glue of any relationship. Discuss how you both handle conflicts, express feelings, and ensure that your communication styles complement rather than clash.
5. Financial Transparency:
Money matters can be a touchy subject, but it's crucial to discuss finances openly. Dive into spending habits, financial goals, and how you both approach budgeting to avoid future conflicts.
6. The Fun Factor:
Marriage is not just about serious conversations; it's about enjoying life together. Uncover shared interests, hobbies, and humor. A good laugh can be the secret ingredient to a lasting bond.
7. Past Relationships Talk:
Understanding your partner's relationship history provides insights into their emotional baggage and growth. Discuss past experiences, lessons learned, and ensure you're both ready for a fresh start.
8. Warning Sign: Lack of Respect:
If your partner consistently disrespects boundaries or dismisses your feelings, it's a red flag. A healthy relationship thrives on mutual respect and understanding.
9. Warning Sign: Unresolved Baggage:
Watch out for unresolved issues or emotional baggage that surfaces in your partner's behavior. A willingness to address and grow from past challenges is essential for a thriving marriage.
10. Warning Sign: Uncommunicative About Future:
If your partner avoids discussing future plans or gets uncomfortable about long-term commitments, it may indicate a misalignment of goals. Open dialogue is key to a shared future.
In the rollercoaster ride of love, a blend of laughter, shared values, and a thorough understanding of each other can pave the way for a strong and enduring marriage. So, before you say "I do," embark on these conversations with an open heart and a readiness for the beautiful journey ahead.