Life is just too short
Somewhere along the way, the idea of how to be sexy has been co-opted to feel like something you need to do for your partner. But true sexiness is something you need to do for you, way before you can even think about sharing your body or space with another person.
As women it's important that we feel sexy without needing the validation or approval of others. Somehow the more responsibility we have the more we feel that we've lost our sexy but maybe the goal shouldn't be to feel like your old self maybe it's time to reinvent your new self. We certainly hope that making these little tricks a habit can go a long way toward getting you there sooner.
Here are some simple ways to feel sexy all the time, so you can send your confidence Through. The. Roof.
1. Wear special lingerie on a normal day.
It’s so easy to fall into the habit of breaking out your “good” underwear when you know it's about to go down. But wearing something special on an ordinary day to the office can give you a serious mental boost.
If you don’t own any special lingerie, it's time to go pick some out, she says. You don’t need a partner to indulge in some sexy attire simply explore some local shops and figure out what "you" like.
2. Start working out.
Exercise is obviously great for your help but it also helps you relieve stress and feel more confident. Plus it releases endorphins!
Not feeling too confident these days don't worry a 2019 study found that a regular yoga practice (over 12 weeks) can lower body dissatisfaction for a serious surge in confidence.
3. Splurg on a massage.
Touch is an important element of sexuality, and massage helps boost your inner sexiness in a few ways. A simple massage helps release the feel-good hormone oxytocin, giving your mind a serious boost. Can't afford a professional massage then opt in for a diy massage at home. It's amazing for stress reduction—and nothing torpedoes sexy feelings like stress.
4. Use the mirror technique.
On a regular basis, you’re probably only in the nude for a few key moments, like when you’re in the shower and during the five seconds (or 20 minutes) it takes for you to get dressed. To incorporate the mirror technique into your daily routine all you need is to stand naked infront of the mirror and admire yourself. Pay attention to the negative thoughts that may arise and it's origin. Combat every negative thought with positive affirmations for atleast 60 seconds each day.
This simple practice has a huge impact on many areas of your life when done daily.
5. Actually pay attention to your posture.
You know, you know—you’re supposed to stand up straight, but it can be hard to do this if it's not your norm. Checking yourself throughout the day and adopting a “power pose” (with your head up, shoulders back, and having straight, aligned posture) can make you feel more confident and sexy. If you sit like you take yourself seriously others will.
Also, total side note: Great posture is a sign of a strong core, which is good for sex.
6. Touch yourself.
This can be as simple as taking some time to slowly brush your hair or gently rub lotion all over your body, to as full-on as masturbating—something all sex experts recommend.
“Masturbating is a great way to connect into your own fantasy life, sense of eroticism, and to keep an infrastructure of arousal going,” says Kerner. He also notes that solo sex is a way to make time for yourself (and prioritizing you = validating your self-worth).
Needle even recommends setting aside time to touch yourself to make sure you actually do it.
7. Do something outside your norm.
There’s a wide range here. You could travel to a new place or even just try a different dish at your go-to restaurant. The key is breaking out of your routine and trying something—anything—different. Do something that excites you!
8. Get your Fifty Shades on to amp up sexy feelings.
Reading an erotic story, watching a hot movie, or checking out some good porn can help “nourish” your sexy side, says Kerner. As wives and mothers we tend to spend alot of time tending to the needs of others.
We recommend an episode of Sex In the City or our most recent episode of Goop Sex and Love edition.
9. Unleash your inner Beyoncé.
Go out with your girls and put on that freakum dress. This idea that Mom's can't be sexual beings is absurd.
Owning the room can be a challenge when you’re wearing something that you don’t feel great in. So, on days when you need a boost, wear something that shows off your best assets.
10. Break out the candles.
Lighting some candles and turning down the lights can be great for feeling sexy in a few ways. Pay attention to the things that enhance your mood.
Candles are just straight-up sexy—particularly if you opt for sensual, woodsy scents—and can get you in the mood really fast, since they tend to be associated with sex.
11. Unplug. No, really.
That means your phone, TV, computer, and tablet should all go away for a set period of time. The world can pause until you feel rejuvenated.
So, repeat, repeat, repeat—then go on being your fine-ass self.
We'd love to have you join us for our next live discussion with special guest Lala Roberson as we do a deep dive on how you can "Own Your Sexy"